PARENT’S DATE NIGHT

a chance to Christmas shop without kids 

or just go out for a fun night together!

This Friday, December 3rd, 6-10pm

at Brookside Baptist Church

(hosted & staffed by cityKIDS volunteers)

(pizza, drinks, crafts, & a kids movie provided)

RSVP BY WEDNESDAY NIGHT

(# of kids & their ages)

to mistymccaslin@gmail.com

Marriage Tips...

1. Talk to your spouse more kindly than you talk to anyone else in the world. Too often we speak the most harshly to those closest to us.


2. Remember that marriage is less about marrying the right person and more about becoming the right person.


3. Don’t forget to laugh. Most couples spend the majority of their time talking logistics: who’s doing the grocery shopping, who’s calling the repairman, who’s picking up the kids. A relationship can’t survive on logistics. Have a water fight instead.


4. She needs you to be her best friend. Everyday, talk to her and tell her what you’re thinking. Even if you don’t think you’re thinking about anything. She needs to hear your heart.


5. He needs you to be his cheerleader. Let him know you believe he can take on the world.


6. Find ways to say “I love you” that don’t involve sex


7. When you dress up, make sure the main person you’re dressing up for is him. And put on lipstick.


8. Leave the toilet seat down.


9. Forgiving means not bringing that old infraction up every time you have a new fight. Let it go.


10. If it’s not solved at 2:30 a.m., it’s not going to be solved at 3:00 a.m. either. Go to sleep. You can deal with it tomorrow, assuming you even remember what the fight was about.


11. When you’re having an argument, listen to understand, don’t listen to find loopholes so you can win. Marriage is either a win/win or a lose/lose. You can’t win by beating someone else down.


12. Your kids come second, not first. Your marriage needs to be number one. Your spouse was there before the kids and will be there after the kids move out. Work on that relationship first.


13. If you haven’t fully committed to your marriage, it won’t succeed. If you’re always testing your spouse, your spouse will always come up short. No one is perfect.


14. You will never drift together. People only ever drift apart. If you want to grow closer, you have to be intentional about it.


15. Let her cry. She needs to every now and then.


16. Don’t bug him if he doesn’t cry. Some men just don’t show their feelings. That’s why they’re men.


17. Don’t say everything that’s on your mind. More marriages would survive if more things went unsaid.


18. Let her be your every fantasy. Keep your eyeballs off everyone else.


19. Let him be your every fantasy. Keep your eyeballs off romance novels.


20. Don’t think he’s gross if he farts. Don’t think she’s pathetic if she obsesses over paint colors. You married someone of the opposite gender. That’s what life is about.


21. Don’t run to your mom if your spouse does something you don’t like. You’re a unit now. Act like it.


22. Make one of your favorite topics of conversation how much you admire your spouse. Tell your kids. Tell your friends. And let your spouse hear.


23. Men would be ecstatic if women showed up naked and brought food. Most women need more than that. Men, make it your goal in life to figure her out. Woo her. She’s worth it.


24. Say yes far more frequently than you say no.
And finally, for us women:


25. Every now and then, jump him.


And may you all live happily ever after.


(written by Sheila Wray Gregoire who blogs daily at To Love, Honor and Vacuum!)

cityTOTS parents: 

This past Sunday we started a new 5 week series.

In I CAN FOLLOW, Kai and Lil'K learn that God is the best leader ever!

Memory Verse: 

Lord show me Your ways. Teach me how to follow you. Psalm 25:4

Week #1 - I can follow God - Abraham follows God to a new place

Genesis 12:1-9

Week #2 - I can follow God's word: the Bible - Josiah follows God's words

2 Kings 22-23

Week #3 - I can follow God right now - Simon and Andrew follow God

Mark 1:16-18

Week #4 - I can follow God and obey - Noah builds the ark

Genesis 6:13-22

Week #5 - I can follow God's example - Jesus models by words and actions

John 13:1-17

Each week your child will bring home a "MAP Book". This is designed for parents involvement and to help build early spiritual formation delivered through fun learning activities. The MAP Book informs parents and reinforces the key-learning objective.

Watch a clip of it here

B1G1 FREE Starbucks

7 Secrets of Low Stress Families...

I think we all want to be a low stress family.  We all live busy lives.  We all encounter difficult situations, that's just a part of living.  We all have stress.  The key is to learning how to downplay the stress and create joy and togetherness in your household.  I thought this article offered some really great advice for keeping your family focused on truly being together.

You may or may not agree with all 7 secrets.  I'm not going to comment on any of them, I am just going to give you the facts, straight from the article and let you draw your own conclusions...

The research was based on 32 California based families who opened up their lives to a 3-person crew for 4 days.  In every family, both parents worked outside the home and had two or more children.  So here are the similarities they found.

1. Low-stress couples don't divvy up the chores.  They don't keep score.  "There was more of a'we-ness', the attitude was more we do this for our family, not I do this for you."
2. Low-stress families find moments of togetherness.  They understand that moments of togetherness do not necessarily happen on vacation, they happen during special moments like braiding their daughter's hair or cheering together at their son's t-ball game.
3. Low-stress parents are role models, not pals.  "There was still affection and humor in homes where the parents were the bosses, there was never a question of who was in charge.
4. Low-stress moms make dinner from scratch.  The average woman spent about an hour preparing dinner.  Also, children who were involved in the food preparation always ate what they were served. (I am simply relaying the information here.)
5. Low-stress moms take five minutes of me time.  The secret to being fully present and enjoying family life is taking 5-10 minutes to yourself.  This is a healthy act, not a selfish one.
6. Low-stress families watch TV together.  "Bonding can be sharing snacks, high-fiving when a basketball team scores, or guessing trivia questions together."  When families laugh together, it creates a shared memory.
7. Low-stress families embrace daily rituals.  Routine and continuity (not spontaneity and excitement) set the foundation for making family relationships thrive.  

I will say that the one that shocked me the most is the one about TV.  There is a lot of controversy about TV.  TV can cause a lot of damage to a family.  TVs in every room can cause separation.  But as I read this, I vividly remembered sitting as a family watching The Cosby Show and laughing together.  It is a small but great memory.

If you would like to read the full article found from Redbook, you can click here.

What do my kids really need?

It may not be what you think…

The word egocentric refers to a world that “revolves around oneself.”  Theocentric refers to a world that “revolves around God.”  I wonder if there is a word that describes someone whose world “revolves around their kids.”  If there’s a word for that I haven’t found it.  Let’s make one up.  How bout kidocentric?  That sounds smart. 

Lately I’ve been noticing a trend that’s not new, but it seems to be growing faster than ever.  Parents who are living in a kidocentric world.  They are absolutely consumed with making sure their kids are in every activity, at every event, and have every opportunity.  They wouldn’t ever admit it, but their kids are calling the shots. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about providing for your kids.  This is not an article for parents who neglect their kids, it’s an article for the parents who have a tendency to live for their kids.

Never in my life have I seen so many parents sacrifice everything in the name of their kids, especially their marriage.  Here’s the usual sentence I hear, “My husband/wife and I may be growing apart right now but our kids are really involved in a lot of stuff.” Or something like that. 

It’s almost like being kidocentric is a justifiable reason to have a crappy marriage.  I know my marriage stinks but my kid is really excelling in math and he looks so cute in that soccer uniform.  Seriously?

I think we need to get back to understanding that we were husbands or wives long before we were fathers or mothers.  Our initial calling is to our spouse and in that calling we pass down an incredible blessing to our children.  One they may not understand right now. 

The greatest thing you can give your child is not another activity, event, or opportunity; it’s a mom and dad who are passionately in love with one another.  That means don’t feel guilty for leaving your kids with a babysitter every now and then.  Show your kids that your prioritize your marriage above your role as father and mother and you are actually setting them up for greatness.  One day they will look back and respect you even more.

I know it’s easy to fall into a trap of neglecting your marriage for you kids.  Fight that tendency.  What your kids really need is to see a reflection of a godly marriage that they can forever pattern their own life and marriage after.

This article was written by Pastor Matt for the Urban Tulsa Weekly.

FREE kids Christmas Music

Free MP3, Veggie Tales: The Incredible Singing Christmas Tree

Here’s a fun song for the kids! Head over to Amazon.com to get a free MP3 of Veggie Tales song The Incredible Singing Christmas Tree!