It may not be what you think…
The word egocentric refers to a world that “revolves around oneself.” Theocentric refers to a world that “revolves around God.” I wonder if there is a word that describes someone whose world “revolves around their kids.” If there’s a word for that I haven’t found it. Let’s make one up. How bout kidocentric? That sounds smart.
Lately I’ve been noticing a trend that’s not new, but it seems to be growing faster than ever. Parents who are living in a kidocentric world. They are absolutely consumed with making sure their kids are in every activity, at every event, and have every opportunity. They wouldn’t ever admit it, but their kids are calling the shots.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about providing for your kids. This is not an article for parents who neglect their kids, it’s an article for the parents who have a tendency to live for their kids.
Never in my life have I seen so many parents sacrifice everything in the name of their kids, especially their marriage. Here’s the usual sentence I hear, “My husband/wife and I may be growing apart right now but our kids are really involved in a lot of stuff.” Or something like that.
It’s almost like being kidocentric is a justifiable reason to have a crappy marriage. I know my marriage stinks but my kid is really excelling in math and he looks so cute in that soccer uniform. Seriously?
I think we need to get back to understanding that we were husbands or wives long before we were fathers or mothers. Our initial calling is to our spouse and in that calling we pass down an incredible blessing to our children. One they may not understand right now.
The greatest thing you can give your child is not another activity, event, or opportunity; it’s a mom and dad who are passionately in love with one another. That means don’t feel guilty for leaving your kids with a babysitter every now and then. Show your kids that your prioritize your marriage above your role as father and mother and you are actually setting them up for greatness. One day they will look back and respect you even more.
I know it’s easy to fall into a trap of neglecting your marriage for you kids. Fight that tendency. What your kids really need is to see a reflection of a godly marriage that they can forever pattern their own life and marriage after.
This article was written by Pastor Matt for the Urban Tulsa Weekly.
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